I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
