OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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