First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
