So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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