we made out on top of his cat.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I AM VODKA MAN
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
