just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
