apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
