We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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