I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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