I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
