i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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