The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
