We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize