every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he was CRYING into my vagina
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
