they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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