At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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