I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
