What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
