does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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