they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
