I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
