If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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