no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
