He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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