he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
