Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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