dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
