why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
