She's JV to your varsity
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
