..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize