We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
