is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
