youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
