So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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