Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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