glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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