I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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