Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
