What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
