Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
