I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
