You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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