All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
