I can text with my tongue
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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