dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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