Don't you send me to vm
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
