that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
