Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
