nut hugger
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
