five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
