Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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