I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my shit smells like andre
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize