Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
