I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
