Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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