Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
