addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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