Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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