Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
