Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize